This weekend was such a challenge. He has begun calling names when he is angry. Right now it is Fatty. All my training says ignore it and not react to it. But when he is shouting it in the grocery store, I want to hold up a sign that says, he doesn’t mean it. He is just going through emotional struggles. Sometimes I can’t ignore it and I send him to time out saying we need to talk nice to each other. On good days I ignore it or if it is a calm moment I change the conversation and distract him. He must have called me fatty at least 50 plus times today alone. (more…)
Fostering to Adopt and Tough Times December 28, 2008
Wow, what a journey and it hasn’t even started. I don’t want to discourage people from doing this. But you definately have to be patient and flexible. I accepted a little boy. I was so excited about him. I was told the beginning of November about him. It took 3 weeks just to meet him for the first time. The first two times the foster mom was a no show. And I haven’t seen him since. It really frustrated me to no end. I finally have a date to begin transition, but not until the end of January. That will be the next time I see him. About 2 months from the first time I met him. Seems to me like starting from scratch again. He won’t remember anything about me. He will determin how long the transition will take. And I am fine with moving at his pace. In the first meeting we had no worries about the biological parents wanting him back. So I thought of him as a child to adopt. As of my last meeting, the father has said he wants his son. So now he will only be coming to my home as a foster child. It could take up to two years for everything to fall into place for him to be adopted. Now i’m torn on what to be to him. Does he call me mommy, does my nephew consider him a cousin, And what will this do to his stability and security in life? This is part of being a flex family. I signed up for this, and so far I am ok with it. I saw a foster mom in the hall who was crying because she brought her little foster child to court with her and his biological parents saw him for the first time and decided they wanted him back. She has had this child since he was an infant and was there to see the parents rights terminated since they hadn’t seen or heard from them in well over a year. Things can change just like that. Now she won’t be able to adopt him and is devistated. Again, I still seem to be ok so far.
Probably because he hasn’t been in my care yet.
(more…)
Adoption/Foster Care October 7, 2008
Just a quick update. I have been licensed, and I have been briefed on the contract. I sign the contract today. I am already allowed to be matched. And this is the scary part. This is a life time commitment. Not a passing phase. For some of you, your children are chosen for you. They are just born to you and you love them like crazy. I feel weird that I am picking the children. How do I make a wise decision?
There is one little girl that is ready for adoption. I can’t seem to get her top five needs. She is older then I origionally wanted, 8, but there is something about her that seems like a fit.
There are two other little girls. Sisters. Perfect in age, 3&4. Just what I wanted. But they have been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol syndrome. This is something that affects them their entire life. I don’t know much about it, and that is why it is a bit uncertain for me. But God may make this decission because a relative is intersted in adopting them. And they get first choice.
How do I know which children to adopt? Part of me just wants them all. Part of me is scared to make the wrong choice. Biological parents don’t have to go through this do they?
Anyways, any prayers would be fabulous. My spelling is horrible this morning. Blah.
Sierra Association of Foster Families August 24, 2008
SAFF Is a great organization I want to let you all know about. There are lots of ways we can help Foster Families here in Reno. You can click on the link to find out more, but here is some of what I know.
Donations. Saff Takes donations of monetary value for things like sports activities/lessons for the children, conferences for the foster parents to attend which are like workshops to learn new ways to help your foster children thrive in such a crazy world, school supplies, tutoring and education, as well as for other reasons.
They also take donations of New Toys or gift cards for The SAFF Birthday Closet. The Sierra Association of Foster Families maintains a selection of new, donated toys and birthday gift items for foster families to choose from for every foster child in their home. SAFF usually has a selection of gift cards, movie passes or other appropriate items for teens in care in addition to games, sports related items, personal electronics and clothing items they may choose from. (more…)
Great News! June 19, 2008
ALL the kids I have been interested in adopting now have a new home! Praise God!
I know I said I wouldn’t look anymore, but I did. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Maybe the kids all have daddies now though. That would be cool. I am still waiting on a home study. Life in the fast lane. God loves to make me wait…
Plans of Hope Dashed June 8, 2008
I was writing to a friend in WI and telling them about my plans to look into the three kids for adoption, when I saw that they are not accepting Home studies for them at this time. That means someone else is looking at them, they found a match, and they are no longer available for adoption. (more…)
Foster Care Classes Update May 12, 2008
I am well on my way to finishing these classes. Haven’t been late since that first class. I go through a few different emotions at each class. One, they had us pretend to be a single mom with 3 children watched by an elderly great aunt. One child gets sick, my great aunt could now be exposed if I send my child to her. However, rent is due, and we need food. I get paid hourly. They gave us four choices to make. I didn’t like any of them. But we had to pick one. It took me a while to pick. I was one of the last ones to pick an option. I was angry, and understood the preassures of some single moms. Either choice cost us our home, or our great aunts and the childs health. And all choices would bring a visit from social services. It was crummy to say the least. (more…)
Foster Care Orientation Prayer February 27, 2008
My first class was last Tuesday. I missed it. I had my notebook in the car and was going right after work, but an hour before leaving work, I got a severe migrane. I tried to take aleve, but it didn’t touch it. I didn’t take the migrane meds because they have caffein in them, and that is what I gave up for lent. So I wound up going home. It was so bad that I had to just go to bed. I know not drinking caffein can cause these headaches, but the beginning of lent was a while ago, so I shouldn’t have them from that. It was my second one that week, I had one Sunday as well, and I didn’t understand why I was getting them. To keep this short, I am asking for prayer. Sometimes when I am trying to accomplish something important, I feel attacked. Things like this often happen to keep me from the event. Please pray that I make the next class without any hitches. I think even if I have a migrane, I will go anyways this time. My next class is scheduled for March 11th. Any prayers are appreciated.
Thanks bunches
Foster to Adopt Step 2 February 1, 2008
Well, I called the Reno social services and got the information I needed. I received a packet the other day in the mail. Reading through it I got a little nervous because it said classes for adopting special needs children. But after I a bit I understood that these children are in foster care for a reason. They have special needs weather it be from abuse, drugs, alcohal (I hate trying to spell that word), emotional, or physical. I have worked with children with downs syndrome, RETS, Terrets, Autism, Huntingtons (by far the saddest for me), and many others. My nervousness is not in taking care of a “child” with special needs, but taking care of an “adult” with special needs. I wonder if I am able to handle taking care of a child that will ALWAYS need my care. I hope you all understand what I mean. It is a selfish thing to think, but I can’t help it. It does scare me.
On the positive side, I could see myself being pulled in by the heart strings to foster several children. I would never pull apart siblings. Does that mean I will only foster the “only child” ? Not on your life. I am the one who would be crazy enough to adopt the five brothers and sisters who don’t want to be seperated. That would be five of them that could team up against one of me. But it wouldn’t matter. Anyways, I have been thinking about what type of child, and I really want a little girl. Now not all little girls like to be “girly” girls. So I guess I want a girly girl. But if she has a brother or two, I would want them too.
I am already thinking of classes I could put them in like gymnastics, and dance, and sports of their choice. Or music! And having them help me decorate the room! Anyways, these have been my thoughts that get me excited.
The ones that get me scared are will they like me? Will they learn to love me? I am a strict adult. Will they find me overbearing or caring? Will I make them laugh as well as cry? Can I handle it if their parents take them back?
