I am well on my way to finishing these classes. Haven’t been late since that first class. I go through a few different emotions at each class. One, they had us pretend to be a single mom with 3 children watched by an elderly great aunt. One child gets sick, my great aunt could now be exposed if I send my child to her. However, rent is due, and we need food. I get paid hourly. They gave us four choices to make. I didn’t like any of them. But we had to pick one. It took me a while to pick. I was one of the last ones to pick an option. I was angry, and understood the preassures of some single moms. Either choice cost us our home, or our great aunts and the childs health. And all choices would bring a visit from social services. It was crummy to say the least.
There was a woman who came twice who was a great advocate of the birth families. She was a foster mom, and she made it sound like something I could do. I feel it would be a very good ministry for me. Trying to bring the foster child and birth parent back together is a hard, but rewarding goal. However, I am finding that it is nearly impossible to do as a single woman. Each foster parent I have talked to has one parent that stays home while the other works. These children need care 24/7 and many of them are not ready to go to a preschool. They also all have appointments they need to go to, so even if they were ready for preschool, they still have family meetings, dr. and therapy appts. I get frustrated because once again, being single seems to keep me from what I feel God created me to do. So at this point I am still at adoption from the children who are totally free and clear for adoption.
I am the only single person in the class, and I find that I am an outcast. No one even sits with me. The couples all sit together. I am whining a bit here. I hate that so much in life depends on being couple. It just sucks.
I am loving the classes. They are very interesting and informative. I never thought I would be interested in something like this because I always wanted the children to know they were mine, I would not send them back no matter what. But God is showing me there is a great need out there for someone to care for His Children while their parents heal.
I am trying to get all the items together that I need for my home study, and trying to prepare my guest room. I also need to get to the cpr classes, and such, but this all requires money. I guess the government will get my stimulus check right back in a way. So this is where I am at with my classes so far.
I still sometimes wonder if I am ready to give up my freedom. I love to travel, and this affects my travel freedom. Especially with the families I work for. So I really need to continue to pray about this, but I am going through the process while I try to make my decision. I am sure many of you who have had children understand what it is like to lose that freedom. The classes are twice a week, three hours each, and I have a friend who has needed help with painting his house, and I have homework with these classes, plus a cat who needs attention. So writing on here has been a bit behind. I will do my best to post more later.