Smlwoman\’s Weblog

“Waiting for that golden moment when fear and desire die, and only the unspeakable reality of love remains. “

Adoption/Foster Care October 7, 2008

Filed under: adoptions in reno,Children,foster care in reno,my thoughts — smlwoman @ 7:23 am

children-around-world1Just a quick update. I have been licensed, and I have been briefed on the contract. I sign the contract today. I am already allowed to be matched. And this is the scary part. This is a life time commitment. Not a passing phase. For some of you, your children are chosen for you. They are just born to you and you love them like crazy. I feel weird that I am picking the children. How do I make a wise decision?

There is one little girl that is ready for adoption. I can’t seem to get her top five needs. She is older then I origionally wanted, 8, but there is something about her that seems like a fit.

There are two other little girls. Sisters. Perfect in age, 3&4. Just what I wanted. But they have been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol syndrome. This is something that affects them their entire life. I don’t know much about it, and that is why it is a bit uncertain for me. But God may make this decission because a relative is intersted in adopting them. And they get first choice.

How do I know which children to adopt? Part of me just wants them all. Part of me is scared to make the wrong choice. Biological parents don’t have to go through this do they?

Anyways, any prayers would be fabulous. My spelling is horrible this morning. Blah.


4 Responses to “Adoption/Foster Care”

  1. Kari Says:

    My husband and I adopted two children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) and I write a lot about this on my blog-

    I would adopt my kids again in a heartbeat but you need to know that this life isn’t easy. I recommend reading the book “Damaged Angels” by Bonnie Buxton and connecting with other families (you can find some through my blog.) Best Wishes! ~Kari

  2. Linda Says:

    I just read your comment on Kari’s blog. I am going through the situation she blogged about today…about not getting services for your child. We have 4 adopted kids. I would do it again also. But I would insist on being educated first and having those services in place first. We weren’t educated. The services for her are not there now. Take a look at my blog to see what’s going on. The Damaged Angels book is excellent. It’s great that you are learning all that you can now.

  3. Jose Says:

    What do you mean “I can’t seem to get her top 5 needs?”

  4. smlwoman Says:

    Jose, I got the top five needs of the child finally. I took about two weeks, and it normally only takes a few days. I kept emailing and calling to get them and people would respond, but not send the needs. The top five needs of a child are just that. The top five most important issues the child needs you to be able to handle and provide for. Things like being diagnosed with FAS, or not getting along with a male or female figure, or not being allowed to have other children or younger children in the home, agressive behaviour, where they are at with school, etc. This is the first step into deciding if the child or children are a match for you. If you don’t think you can meet their top five needs the Social Worker wants you to be honest and say so. Or ask more questions. This is an important, protective way for the children to find a suitable match. It is one less step in permanency for them. Other wise they meet you and you find this out later and then they are possibly rejected and the rejection eats away more of their self esteem. Unfortunately the top five needs are becoming a sorce of frustration for me. But I will write more on that later today in a new blog.

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