Smlwoman\’s Weblog

“Waiting for that golden moment when fear and desire die, and only the unspeakable reality of love remains. “

I Love His Laughter June 19, 2010

Filed under: adoptions in reno,Life as a Mom — smlwoman @ 8:02 pm

My favorite sound in the world right now is listening to my son laugh while he is watching a cartoon. It is such a genuine laugh and I hope it stays with him through adulthood. And I wish it was mostly like this. The CBS therapist and I had a great talk and gave some great suggestions to try. We put it into place immediately, and I hope we will see the fruit of it soon!


My little 4 year old is a lot to handle June 6, 2010

Filed under: Children,Life as a Mom — smlwoman @ 6:02 pm

He constantly gets in trouble. He does not do anything he is asked to do. Tonight I sent him in the bathroom to wash his hands after eating dinner. When I walked back in there to check on him, he was playing in the toilet with my hairbrush. He has already slid down the curtains and bent the curtain rod, thrown rocks at other kids and hit them in the head, climbs on his shelves and chairs and drum set all the time, even right after he falls and gets hurt. He pours shampoo out of the bottles all over the floor until the bottles are empty, he runs in the stores nonstop and does not know how to stand with me while I do anything, order food, shop for groceries, pick out clothes for him, get him to try on shoes, he walks away from me in public places all the time, the last time he sat down and colored on a business mans portfolio with the yellow highlighter the man left on the table at McDonalds while I was trying to pick up our tray of food. He broke all my flowers after i told him not to pick them. He broke my bird bath after four times of asking him not to play with it. He ignores me when I talk to him. I am at my wits end all the time. He only seems to behave when we are doing things he wants to do. He has only been with me a year, and when I think of him going to another place to live, I cry my eyes out. I love him so much, but sometimes he scares me into thinking I could hurt him. Maybe he needed a family with a mom and a dad. But God gave him to me. So how do I get through to him. I keep hoping things will get better, and there are times it is great and I am so proud of him, but they are so far and few between that I lose site of those successes. I CAN imagine my life without him, but it breaks my heart to think of him not being with me. Dear Lord, please help us.