Smlwoman\’s Weblog

“Waiting for that golden moment when fear and desire die, and only the unspeakable reality of love remains. “

Divorce hurts more then just you and your spouse September 4, 2011

Filed under: Children,my thoughts — smlwoman @ 4:48 pm

I have never missed a single birthday of my nephew’s. Even when he was born I flew home to meet him. And soon after moved back home to be his favorite Aunt.
Today he turns 7. In the Filipines 7 is a big birthday. Very important. This is the first birthday I will miss of his. My brother and his wife divorced this past year, and it has been a nightmare. We all tried everything to stay family, but in the end hurtful words were said, and things done that tore apart our family. Funny thing is my brother is at his son’s party now. I guess that is how it is supposed to be. But my parents, and myself, and my children were not invited this year. We were told not to come. He is our first nephew, and grandson and the only one who is blood related to us. And we miss out now. All the holidays are different, but this is feeling pretty crappy. It just breaks my heart. And I am sure it won’t be the last time it breaks during my nephews life. He means so much to my family. Divorce doesn’t just affect you and your spouse, it affects the entire family. And the child is the one who pays the price. There is a reason why God does not want you to divorce and asks you to fight it out and work it out with the exception of abuse. It rips families apart. And it is always the innocent who get hurt. And it doesn’t end just because your marraige ends. Divorce sucks. And sometimes I wonder how I can ever truly forgive them for tearing apart our family like this.