Im so glad I blogged this! I had forgotten about it.
I can’t believe I never updated this. These two girls got to stay with me. They are adopted and mine. We still have a relationship with the biological family member in this memory. She is the biological maternal grandmother.
As I watched Her prepare to have these girls live with her I was struck how strong she was! I also watched the behavior of the 4 year old grow and grow and become more of a challenge. I started to worry it would be overwhelming for yhe grandma. So one day I told the grandma,” if this ever gets too o erwhelming and you would like to just be grandma I will adopt them and she can still be part of their life as grandma. Just let me know.” She was intrigued and said she would keep that in mind. After having time to think about it she asked if we could get together and talk. So we met at a McDonald’s with a play place and we talked while the kids played. We talked about how it would work. I answered all her questions. My biggest thing I pointed out is that I may not always live in the same state but at this time had no plans of moving any time soon but that it is always a possibility. We talked about how she was the safe family member and that I would keep that open and let her share with certain family members. (We have written to great aunts too). The next day I called the worker to let her know what we discussed and the worker told me that the grandmother was in her office at that moment telling her she wanted me to adopt her granddaughters! The worker had never seen anything like it. We laughed.
It still took another year to adopt but the grandma was at our adoption and stood up and spoke. Brought us both to tears. We kept to our plan. Eventually overnight visit stopped because less safe family members had a bad habit of just showing up at her home. But we still get together regularly and I invite her to every event I can. It’s a little harder as the kids have become teens but that’s a natural event between grownups and teens.
She treats my other kids as her own grandkids. She is a wonderful addition to our family. We also keep up with the oldest biological sister and see her as often as we can. And the growth of these two girls, especially the 4 year old who is now 11, is just Amazing to see! It’s an open adoption in this case. It shows that each situation is different and should be treated as such. I would never have an open adoption with the other two kids I’ve adopted but this one has worked out well for all involved. We get inside information on biological family trees and heritage. We get to hear memories the girls would of lost. And important medical history. So much happened in between that I wish I blogged about. Ups and downs, but I loved reading this memory! I hope you all enjoy the update!
Wow, it has been a while since I have been on here. Taking care of four kids as a single mom will do that to a person.
Being a foster mom is just about what I thought it would be like. I paid attention in class. However, even though I paid attention and have heard of this happening, I was still caught off guard when it happened to me.
I have two girls who have been with me just since September 1, 2010. There have been many ups and downs. The four year old and I have had a lot of challenges that I have seen improve over the past few months. I always keep in mind whatever I know of past experiences for my foster kids, and that helps a lot. But challenges can wear anyone down. I absolutely love these two girls and wish they could stay with…
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